I have a list for practically everything, and if you follow me around the internet enough, chances are, you’re on one. Whole notebooks full of lists, piles of stray sticky notes that litter my desk but better not dare to end up on the floor. I have a stack of notebooks filled with nothing but book ideas I don’t have time to write for at least the next three, almost four years.
To me, lists are a good good thing, but there are some lists you do not want to end up on.
The first of such lists is quite a pretty thing to behold. It’s all written in purple girlie swirls on pale pink cardstock. The title of the top of this list reads:
The Wrong List
It always gets a look from people who dare to venture into my batcave office. “Why is it the wrong list?” they ask.
The thing is, there isn’t a right list. This list just contains people who have been in my opinion notably wrong. Usually on the internet. Now I know what you are thinking.
People are always WRONG on the internet, including myself. I know, I am not going to start a crusade against everyone who has ever tweeted an inaccurate fact EVER. The Wrong List is reserved for big time capital offenders. People who say things like, 99 cent e-books are RUINING American Literature and Twitter doesn’t help you sell books. Also there is a special place on the back for every author I have ever caught saying they make no money selling e-books so they don’t see how anyone else can or what the big fuss is.
Here is a hint, YOUR EBOOK COSTS ELEVEN DOLLARS. Which is like twice as much as some of their mass market paperbacks.
Yes people did actually say those things, and now they are on my list! See how it works?
The next list is my own personal HIT LIST. While I don’t actually plot anyone's demise, I do keep a detailed list of every writer I hope to one day do something better than.Some of these things are silly. Like I hope to sell more books than @XXXXXXXXXX wait you actually thought I was going to name names! No way baby, I don’t have a career death wish. (OK I do just not for this alright?) A lot of those goals are smaller, and I even managed to cross some things off my list like have more twitter followers than so and so,get it?
If I didn’t have a list, I would never be able to keep up with all those life goals.
Other lists currently on my desk: A rough draft of tomorrows to do list. Yes I do a RD! I tend to over extend myself and I like to make sure its possible before moving it over to the dry erase board.
I also have a list of people who are going to kill me if I don’t mail out the PIGMENTS OF MY IMAGINATION posters (me and @geovalentine) and no less than half a dozen shopping lists that never made it to the grocery store.
Ahh to see inside my head!
Ut-oh some NYT best selling author just got added to THE WRONG LIST!
14 comments :
LOL I saw that same XKCD comic on another blog post about people that are wrong on the internet.
Also, what list am I on? Do I get to be on a list? Can I? I really think I deserve to be on one of your lists. =D
You are on so many of my lists I can't even remember them all. Like people to mail things too (done) and people I write at gun point with (often) and the people who comment on my blog (the most) sooo many lists you are on, none of them bad!
HAHA! Alright. I feel special. =)
Love your having a rough draft of your TD list. Reminds me of a heroine in an old Julie Garwood novel -- she made TD lists for every member of her staff (as well as herself) and then a master TD list to keep track of all her TD lists! Somehow I identified with her (except for not having any staff!)
Dare I ask what list I'm on...? Besides #writingatgunpoint...
I too am a obsessed list-o-phile. They're all over the bloody place!
I started a to-do list. There are already 67 items on it. I'm now overwhelmed, but I thought you'd be proud.
BTW - I want to be on one of your lists. Even if it's just a People-Named-Melanie list.
Well you are all on my FORCE TO READ OTHER OF MY WORKS list. Don't make me pull up all my lists, we don't have time for that ;)
Most of my lists are stuck inside my head. Perhaps I should get them down on paper; maybe that's why I'm going crazy!
You should see my monitor. It's framed with lists and one is a list of which lists I should contend with first.
I love the OCD-ness about this! I've become so busy, I literally create lists in my mind, and on a dry erase board and rarely do I miss anything... Now that I have an iPAD2, I will definitely start creating to-do lists on their as well... when I find the app for it :p
Wait so which list am I on? :)
Oh man, I'd love to see your lists! I want to know who's on your hit list, especially! I bet we have a few in common. ;)
Kenon you obv need to be on the other list lovers list.
AND yeah I bet we do have quite a few of the same people SM!!
ROFL!! For some weird reason, this post totally does not surprise me! And I'm also really, really scared now that you are watching me! I don't want to end up on your WRONG list!
ALI you are on the NINJA list, NINJAS do not appear on THE WRONG LIST
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