Writer Beware: Those Who Wish To Make You a MAN (or a best seller)

The more people who follow me on Twitter, the more direct messages in my inbox from people/services/demons from hell, claiming they can make me a BEST SELLER ON AMAZON!

OMG SRSLY??!! Let my just get my wallet....

Oh wait, I've already been a best seller on Amazon.

Newsflash, it's not really that hard. I mean really. Take a second away from envisioning yourself as number one, toppling the likes of John Locke, and Suzzane Collins, and whoever else is on your hit list. (I know it's not just me.) Now look at what they are really promising you. But first, play the theme music.

These services, promising to make you a man... er best seller, range in price from a few five dollar notes to more than you would pay for a nice professional cover.

I bet you think dynamic tension, must be hard work.

Seriously peeps. get the Cover.


They aren't promising you that you will have THE #1, they are promising you that you will be #1 in an obscure category. If that! Some of them don't guarantee their services at all. They just say they will tweet/ post the information and that is what you are paying for.

I think my first number one slot was something like children's books>>>social situations>>self help

I am not even kidding you, and I was pretty sure that I was there having sold less than seven books. I remember specifically because it was BEFORE the book launch so these were just people that had stumbled into it.

Most of the "businesses" that offer these services are the used car salesman of the digital age. They throw around impressive looking numbers like reach 50,000 people! Who cares if those 50,000 people aren't quality followers.

Get 50 magical unicorn MPG on this crappy old sedan!

Make good friends instead. Hit up  book bloggers (nicely), and don't pay for what you can get for free. Because there are quite a few free services out there. That doesn't mean you should ask people who you don't know, and you never talk to, for free promotional services. This happens to me allll the time! But if you mention you follow my blog, I can sure share a tweet for your cause.